“Once Upon a Time” – Catfish Nuggets

As women, I think we would ultimately like to have the fairytale ending where we find our prince/princess charming and ride off into the sunset. When I divorced my husband in 2007, it took me a few years to get back on my horse in my quest for romance. When I did, the old adage “you have to kiss a few frogs” certainly applied.  Well… maybe they weren’t exactly frogs, but those experiences weren’t exactly love stories either.

 Dating again can be scary, but it can also be fun. It’s all in the attitude.  Ultimately, you may have a good tale or two in the end. Here is one of mine-

Catfish Nuggets

So I thought I would give online dating a shot. I tried going out to bars and clubs, but they seemed to only unearth heavy drinkers and guys looking for one night stands. Although online dating did feel like a bit of a crap shoot, I hoped that I could at least weed out duds after a few messages. I quickly learned that men are liars. A huge revelation I know. I had a hard time recognizing most of them from their pics that were apparently taken 20 years and 20 lbs ago.

Eventually, I agreed to meet this one guy for lunch. I didn’t exactly fall in love with his picture, but I was trying to keep an open mind. He seemed intelligent and that is attractive to me. However, I was caught off guard when he approached me carrying a small gift bag.  When he presented me with it I was a little embarrassed and not sure how to respond. I knew I would probably have to open it in front of him and either feel obligated to fake gratitude or interest in him for getting me something. Of course, he prodded me to open it right away. When I looked inside of the bag I saw a glass jar. I wondered if it was maybe that friendship bread starter dough that people used to give to each other. That seemed like kind of a nice gesture. Safe. Except when I pulled it out he tells me with a big smile that it’s “Flour”.  Confused, I cocked my head sideways like my dog does when he hears a food wrapper. He goes on to explain that because I was smart and funny, he thought I would enjoy getting “flour” instead of “flowers”. I had no words, but I’m sure my expression said enough.

Next time I’ll go for cute and stupid, see if I can get tulips.


April is a 54-year-old divorcee. She is a native Californian who graduated from United States International University with honors.