The Proverbial Pink Slip
Whether you have been in your current position for just a couple of years, or long term, losing your job at 50+ years old can be very scary. Fear is also only one of an array of emotions you will likely be experiencing, and I know this because I lost my job of 20 years just before my 51st birthday.
I felt betrayed, bewildered, and like I had been bludgeoned by baseball bat. Anyone that tells you that you can’t mourn the loss of an inanimate object, is full of it. The financial implications, loss of friends (work family), and fear of the unknown can be devastating. For me, I likened it to my divorce – but worse.
Working in a male dominated industry, I always felt like I needed to do everything better just to be accepted, to be acknowledged. I did this at the expense of my health and my relationships. Now I was looking at statistical information that said I would likely be unemployed for at least 18 months, and would enter back into the work force with 20-40% pay reduction. That information only made it feel worse. I only share my experience, because I want you to know that shit happens. It definitely happens, and I want you to know that you are not alone. I also want to help you maneuver through the mess that follows - better, and with more clarity than I had.
So, what happens next? Likely some tears and fears. Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something that’s important to you. In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described five popular stages of grief, popularly referred to as DABDA. They include:
Denial: When you first learn of your loss, it’s normal to think, “This isn’t happening.” You may feel shocked or numb. For me, this time was accompanied by a lot of crying.
Anger: As reality sets in, you’re faced with the pain of your loss. You may feel frustrated and helpless. These feelings later turn into anger. You might direct it toward other people, a higher power, or life in general. Hopefully you don’t want to hurt anyone.
Bargaining: During this stage, you dwell on what you could’ve done to prevent the loss. Common thoughts are “If only…” and “What if…” This stage is pointless, and hard to get past.
Depression: Sadness sets in as you begin to understand the loss and its effect on your life. Signs of depression include crying, sleep issues, and a decreased appetite. You may feel overwhelmed, regretful, and lonely.
Acceptance: In this final stage of grief, you accept the reality of your loss. It can’t be changed. Although you still feel sad, you’re able to start moving forward with your life. This stage take may take longer to achieve for some, than other. I’m not sure that I have completely arrived, sometimes I relapse back to anger.
I ask you to be kind to yourself as you work through this process. Take some time to breath… go on a hike… and do some soul searching. At some point, you may even discover that getting laid off from this employer is the best thing that ever happened to you. I know that I did.
After you re-group, I want you to consider that maybe it’s time to solicit the help of others. I know this can be hard, because a bruised ego has a way of making you want to stick your head in the sand- but there is validity to the saying that “it’s who you know, not what you know”. You are certainly not the only one who has ever been through this.
Make yourself a check list and take care of the immediate needs:
Unemployment Insurance – Find out if you qualify and apply as quickly as possible. You can find the information you need on website of the U.S. Department of Labor.
Health Insurance- You likely were covered by your employer, but when you lose your job, that benefit may disappear as well. That is why The Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA) was passed some time ago. If you are separated from your job and it was the source of your health insurance, COBRA will allow you continue your policy by paying for it on your own at the group rate. Depending on your new financial situation, you may also have options for subsidized healthcare. Getting a trustworthy insurance agent can help point you in the right direction.
Now it’s time to gather your thoughts, and contemplate what’s next.
Time to look for work.
If financing permits, consider a Career Coach.
A Career Coach will:
- Help you discover what jobs you are suited for based on your talents, personality and ambition.
- Assist you to clarify your long term career goals and creating a roadmap to achieve them. This can take a few sessions.
- Structure your job search, help with your resume and application documents as well as coach you through job interviews.
The fees charged by career coaches vary greatly and you should definitely shop around for a deal. Expect to pay anything from $100 to $500 for a two hour session. The best way to find the right one for you is to ask friends and coworkers. You will want to find a coach that works with people in your industry. A good coach should have references available.
Define your personal brand.
Update your resume.
Update / or get a LinkedIn profile.
Start networking!
You will hear more about 2 through 5 in subsequent blogs.
When you lose your job, you can lose more than your paycheck. You lose your comfort zone. Courage is what you need at this time- and I know you can do it. I did.